A Private Concentration Camp

October is Domestic Violence Prevention month.

Many say they are tired of hearing about it. Why doesn’t she just leave?

They don’t ask why he continues to be insane.

Why does he kick the woman carrying his child to the ground?

Why he hates someone who is devoted to his happiness?

Why he refuses to take responsibility for the smallest of his behaviors?

Why churches continue to look the other way?

Or worse, tell her it’s her God given duty to take it?   cross-and-islam

Unless someone has been there, they can’t understand.

It doesn’t start out this way.

Slowly and subtly the abuser begins to build, first, invisible mental and emotional bars around his partner.

Then eventually the bars become physical. They were already real.

And that is what those on the outside don’t understand. The bars are real, even though they can’t see them.

They are the same bars built in concentration camp tactics, cults, or any form of abuse. Continue reading “A Private Concentration Camp”

The “W” in Worry

There is a well- known Serenity Prayer by Friedrich Nietzsche and used in 12 step recovery programs that seeks to relieve us of our mental turmoil:

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

What is not quoted as often as some of the rest of the prayer:

“Accepting as God did this sinful world just as it is….”

Here is what we worry about. We are worried that the things we can’t change will be too detrimental, damaging or disastrous. We may trust in God but we are not sure we are rowing to shore fast enough to escape the storm. Usually the categories of what we worry about areworryW   what        W   when       where

We may worry about what is going to happen, when something is going to happen, or where it might happen.

But the two big Ws we usually worry about are Who and Why.

We worry about the Who  …Continue reading “The “W” in Worry”

Blogger Recognition Award

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Thanks to Paardje of SnailMail, Books and Vanities who nominated me this award! You can find Paardje at WordPress. Paardie is fun from Indonesia! Knitting and whatever else pops up. Paardje reached 1,000 followers last March and also received the Versatile Blogger Award.

https://ofsnailmailbooksandvanities.wordpress.com/

My blog actually got started some time ago but finally got more active when….guess what?….I started devoting time to it!  It’s a little like a buffet….a sampling of articles, stories, humor, poetry and whatever else strikes my fancy at the time.

I will ramble from Women’s Spirituality, Writing Services, Academic Success, AgingWell, Compulsive Overeating, Emotional Recovery, Small and Home Business and whatever.

Your comments intrigue me so please submit lots! And follow too.

For new bloggers, I say find the ones you like, take what you want and leave the rest. By that I mean, there are all sorts of tips for blogging out there, from fast money at Blogging High to fun but no profit and in between. I was lucky that Paardje and a few others encourage me with their lighthearted approaches. Their formats are fun.

I keep checking out fellow swimmers in the stream,  because, well, it’s so rich out there. I hope you will visit some of these blogs as well:

BeautyBeyondBones   – recovery from anorexia but not what you might think – I nominate!

QWF Writes – fellow writer journeys

The Naked Networker – always a new twist on work

The Smiling Pilgrim – not syrupy in the least

 

 

 

Better Than PokémonGo

I have a much simpler way to escape office stress. These are my top 20 coping skills and they don’t get me run over in the street. Steve Carrell missed his chance by not showing these on The Office.

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1.Make a maze of spaghetti (cooked or uncooked).Continue reading “Better Than PokémonGo”

A Short Guide to Developing Denials and Affirmations

Using the power of your words to create your experiences can be very satisfying and stress relieving.  More than just positive thinking, denials and affirmations are a dynamic duo in managing our perceptions and feelings toward achieving satisfaction in relationships, work and other areas. They are based on the truth that the universe is supporting us and that love prevails in assuring us our good because this is the Divine Will for our lives. They create what Jesus called “the Kingdom of God within you”. If we think about what would the evidence be that Good prevailed, that is what Jesus meant. Harmonious relationships, happiness, fulfillment, peace, love, wisdom, kindness. We can create these through the power of our heart-mind-words.

Peru Amphitheater Ankh

Basically as I have practiced this technique, Continue reading “A Short Guide to Developing Denials and Affirmations”

Four Factors of Stress Management

Americans’ levels of stress are among the highest in the world. Our national ethic of incessant striving with no measureable way to say, “I’m at the peak”, strains our bodies, hearts and minds. Our media reinforces constant dissatisfaction, a necessity in a consumer based economy. While there are worlds written about it, here are the four major ways that I have gleaned from most of the material out there over the years I have been reading about it. Feel free to let me know if any of this has worked for you or enlighten us on other ways you’ve come down from being stuck on a red alert button.

Kaieteur-Falls-GuyanaContinue reading “Four Factors of Stress Management”

God is as Invisible

As the air against my cheek

As the breeze against my arm                          

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Shiloh Sophia

 

Breathing in my lungs

As the green in the leaf

And the blue filter of the sky

The sound in the bee’s buzz

The bubble of water over rock

Feel of moss

And tart of peach

The light in my eyes

Your hand on my face

Night petunia musk

Breath in, close my eyes and

See

 

 

Unhealthy Housework

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There were three things my ex-husband did well, one of which was housework. Of course that was in his self-interest, as were the other two. Let me explain.

It’s not that I don’t want to clean. It’s just that I can’t afford to. The medical bills are too high. Along with replacement costs.Continue reading “Unhealthy Housework”

Writing for Tragedy

I am posting some of Shiloh Sophia’s words here to encourage those of us who write or create in any form. We never know when a creation will speak so powerfully that it can turn the tide. We affirm that our pens can be more powerful than assault rifles, especially if writing can get them banned.

“The world is violent and mercurial – it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love – love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent; being a writer; being a painter; being a friend. We live in a perpetually burning building and what we must save from it, all the time, is love”. Tennessee Williams

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Shiloh Sophia Painting in response to Orlando

Processing grief in the wake of the Orlando losses

Dear Ones, Continue reading “Writing for Tragedy”

Turning Resentments into Gratitude

Last week we looked at some common sources of resentments: expectations, pride and loss. Recently I saw an entry on HuffPost the related to the topic. They looked at how negatives could be turned into positives. Although they did mention gratitude, they didn’t list resentment specifically. Here is their list: Continue reading “Turning Resentments into Gratitude”