A Father Is In This House

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A Father is in this house,

man person cute young

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A Father standing tall,

And even more surprising,

He admits he doesn’t know it all.

 

It’s good to have a Father

Who can constantly stay,

Who doesn’t hide or disappear

When things don‘t go his way.

A Father who follows through

On promises he made

And guides his children lovingly

And helps them find their way.

 

A Father who, beyond biology,

Gives his strength and love.

In spite of his faults, his children say

“You’re a Dad we’re proud of.”

The Unwanted Mother

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Right now I have an 89-year-old friend who moved away from her lifetime residence and cadre of friends to a retirement home closer to her daughter. Her daughter wanted this move because it would save her expensive flights to visit her mother. Although they were not especially close, my friend wanted to be nearer to her daughter in case she became ill.

My friend spends her days isolated in the facility. Her daughter does not see or talk to her very much and it is difficult to begin making friends at this age, she says. It is now apparent that her daughter may not be there even if she is ill. She thinks she made a mistake but she cannot move back now. She is too old.pexels-photo-1051076.jpeg

The Institute on Aging reported in 2010 that older women are twice as likely to live alone Continue reading

Which One Is You?

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WHICH ONE IS YOU?pexels-photo-259915.jpeg

“Two A’s are good, the small boy cried,

His voice was filled with glee.

His father very bluntly asked,

“Why didn’t you get three?”

 

“Mom, I’ve got the dishes done.”

The girl called from the door.

Her mother very calmly said,

“And did you sweep the floor?”

 

“I’ve mowed the grass,” the tall boy said,

“and put the mower away.”

His father asked him with a shrug,

“Did you clean off the blades?”

 

The children in the house next door

Seem happy and content.

The same things happen over there

But this is how they went.

 

“Two A’s are good,” the small boy cried.

His voice was filled with glee.

His father proudly said, ”That’s great!”

“I’m so glad you live with me!”

 

“Mom, I’ve got the dishes done,”

The girl called from the door.

Her mother smiled and softly said,

“Each day I love you more.”

 

“I’ve mowed the grass, the tall boy said,

“and put the mower away.”

His father answered with much joy,

“You’ve made my happy day.”

 

Children deserve encouragement

For the tasks they’re asked to do.
If they’re to lead a happy life,

So much depends on you!a

 

LDA of Alabam

A Valentine for Your Inner Child

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“Every human person is inevitably involved with two worlds: the world they carry within them and the world that is out there. All thinking, all writing, all action, all creation and all destruction is about that bridge between the two worlds.” – John O’Donahue

Valentine’s Day is a celebration of connection. Sending heartfelt thoughts is a way to reach out, perhaps say what can’t be said, with a greeting already packaged.

Sometimes the day is not welcomed. There may be complex feelings, confusion or Continue reading

Veterans of Domestic War

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     October has been chosen as a month of over 100 chances for awareness or observances. The National Holiday Calendar list could be grouped into categories of animal care, human care, food, health, ethnicity, and more.

So it is tempting to wonder if there is a hierarchy of significance. Are, say, the human causes more important than the animal ones? Famously we are aware that there are more animal shelters per population than women’s shelters. But those who are animal lovers may brush this away because humans are supposed to be able to defend themselves.

I am proposing a shift in the way we think about the issue. I am proposing that we shift the emphasis away from violated women as a group that must be advocated for by others and therefore “lower” somehow and emphasize their strengths.    

Women who have survived domestic violence are veterans, veterans of domestic wars. Many have endured the same tactics Continue reading

Lighting the Mother Shadow

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For some women Mother’s Day is not an easy day. Daughters of mothers who could not nurture them experience emotional fallout that casts a shadow over this day and indeed their lives.2015-03-06-16-13-26

Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes about the Stone Child, stories and myths of the unmothered child. As women, we experience “collapsing” and a wild hunger that leads us to doubt ourselves, have difficulty seeing ourselves accurately, engage in risky or impulsive behaviors, and an inability to maintain healthy boundaries. We miss training in honoring our intuition, consciousness and common sense. To recover, women must grow their own internal mother to warm their hearts through meditation, connecting with nature, bodywork, and support from other women. We must come to terms with our mother shadow, for she never leaves us. We cannot escape the effects and should not. Our mother effect is the source of our creative energy. Our emotions are our guide to our next level for spiritual development.

Recently a group of women in my workshop Continue reading

Eat or Spend? The High Cost of Insecurity

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Almost anyone who struggles with an eating disorder or really any addiction is familiar with how we can switch obsessions. If we are not drinking, we are eating. If we are not eating, we are smoking. If we are not working, we are drinking. On and on.money-fly

Spending is one of the favorite “go to” switches for those with eating disorders. In fact, some studies show that many seeking recovery from eating disorders have either alcoholism or sexual abuse in their childhood experiences. Because of this, poverty can be a stressor from growing up in an alcoholic family or, on the flip side, a family member may use gifts to secure illicit favors from their child victim. Compulsive spenders report feeling in power, getting a “high” as a stress relief, or needing to “escape” – all of which can be effects from feeling powerless as children. One woman said that, unlike gambling, at least she knew what she had spent the money on and had something to show for it.

Even when these are not factors, in our consumer based materialistic culture, money is probably one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged experiences Continue reading

How to Stop Eating Like a Child

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Those of us who have problems with emotional eating know that food, dieting and weight obsessions are only symptoms of deeper pain, hurt and need.

We have turned to eating because we have never felt free enough or supported enough to be acceptable with admitting these needs. There are a hundred reasons for this, but the reality is that we all inherit stories or keep repeating stories of ourselves about growing up and our life experiences that are hard to face.        2015-03-06-16-13-26

It is often said that connection is the antidote to addictions. While thinking about this, I realized that the primary connection is with ourselves. At some level the small overwhelmed person does not feel safe to live in the world without support, Continue reading